As I’ve written in the prior post (Expressing Sadness – Part 2),(https://requesteringviolet.wordpress.com/2019/07/08/expressing-sadness-part-2/), my family helped me in the transition process, from feeling sad to happy. They firmly believe that usually there are two options to come out of SADNESS. If you are comfortable in your current situation then don’t crib or complain. Live with it. But if you aren’t scared of change then try your best to come out of it. You have to pluck the thorn out that has been giving you pain since long.
And, I chose the latter.
I believe the thought to unlock my wedlock was an invitation from the Universe to let me get introduced to my inner true self. And I gladly accepted that invitation.
Even though we have come forward and become so advanced in everything from technology, infrastructure to modern values, the word Divorce still is a taboo. As soon as people hear about a person going through or have had one, they shamelessly ask irrelevant questions. They just want to know whose fault was it, the girl or the boy. Who led the marriage into the pitfalls of a Divorce? Nobody really is worried about you or how you feel. They just want to find their entertainment quotient in your story.
People who really care are either your family members or your closest friends.
While I was going through my separation procedure my sister in law once asked me a question. I didn’t realize the power a simple question could hold until she asked me. She plainly asked, “How are you feeling?”. The first time in my life I wanted to answer with complete honesty. Before I could utter a word, tears came rolling down my cheeks non-stop. I could feel a volcano of emotions erupting inside of me. I sat there like a statue, expressionless and cried my heart out. Silence is powerful undoubtedly but sometimes speaking your heart out will make you feel as light as a feather.
I’ve learned from my experience thus far, that “Time heals everything” works considerably if you wait for the time to do its magic. You could heal a lot sooner if you help yourself.
“Remember that there is no magic wand that can take away the pain and grief. The best any of us can do is to be there.” –Marilyn Mendoza
There are no set rules or guidelines. If you’re going through the same pain or in the midst of a healing process as I am, then stop whatever you’re doing. Take a deep breath and know that sometimes heartbreak introduces you to the other side. It saves you from losing yourself in the deep shackles of pain.
I was buried under the layers of people pleasing for many years. I feared a pin drop silence when in conversations with people the most. I thought it’s my responsibility to break the silence even if I wanted to stay quiet.
This past one year made me realize one thing that it’s not my job to please people. Life after divorce gave me an opportunity to acknowledge my own preferences, choices and what I really want.
Now I’m not afraid to say NO to anything if that’s not what I want.
I now spend time alone with my thoughts, feelings, and emotions and most importantly with MYSELF.
I have said YES to MYSELF.
MY MARRIAGE IS OVER BUT MY LIFE IS NOT.
Are you afraid to say No fearing that you might hurt another person’s feelings? Have you ever said Yes to yourself?
Thank you so much for your presence here.
A lot more thoughts and words are on their way and you shall read them soon.
I would love to hear your stories. Please share your thoughts and feelings in the comment section below.